As I sit and attempt to write a mindful life altering blog while my son is rocking it out with his drum line during practice, I realize I’m putting way too much thought and pressure into this. For the last few months I have struggled with what direction I wanted to take my writing in as well as my business. I absolutely know what impact I wanted to make in people’s lives and what I want to help them with, but I was researching, writing thoughts and thinking way too much rather than doing. I am focusing on the outcome rather than the actual “doing”. And as I sit here, I realize that this applies to everything we do in life. Yes, I have taught this a million times, yes, it literally comes out of my mouth a number of times a day, but it is amazing how saying it and doing it in our own lives are two completely different things. Kind of obvious I know but it is what most of us do, we stand in our own way!
I am a hermit by nature, an over thinker, over analyser but I have been so stuck lately that I couldn’t see the trees for the forest. I was not listening to one of the major lessons I often teach my clients and students. It’s the baby steps that matter and the “doing” more then anything. I was stuck in the “try” zone for some reason, fooling myself that I was “doing” by researching and what’s really funny is I kind of understood that and could feel I was stuck, but in my typical fashion it made me try to figure out why (again another lesson I teach my clients NOT to do), instead of just applying what I know and “doing” myself out of being stuck!
Sitting here listening to these amazing drummers who belong to the largest and oldest Canadian Marching band I realized I needed to be more like them, oh and did I mention they are 13 to 19. I needed to jump in and “do” stop over thinking and let myself connect to the energy around me and allow the words to flow like they normally do when I’m not in my own way. And then I needed to “do” something with it.
I sat down with every intention to write about mind set and the importance of it. But now I realize that the first step in mind set isn’t re-training our thinking it’s about getting out of our own way so we can actually work at re-training our mind set.
I know that of course and I teach that on a daily to others, but sometimes when we are so in trenched in our lives, we don’t see what we are doing. And I am clearly standing in my own way. Yes, the next steps in re-training our mind set are really important and without those steps we will not be balanced and achieve things in our lives. BUT, we will never get to that stage if we don’t get out of our own way. I mean seriously I am lying on a futon in front of my path to my goals, I am draped across a road block wrapped in a comfy comforter. I am super uncomfortable but strangely comfortable at the same time. That road block I draped myself across was the latest block I’ve come up against. And like everyone they show up when we have shifts in our lives and decisions to make. Fears rise up and doubts creep in.
It is super annoying. I was thinking today about the devil and angel scenario, one on one shoulder and the other on the other. The angel is our positive mind set, this angel helps us over-come doubt, fear, self-worth. The devil is the mind set destroyer, this devil is the road block construction architect (I was picturing this little devil with a construction hat on and pile of bricks beside him). In life no matter how successful you are you still deal with these two on your shoulders. You just become better at learning how to ignore the road block architect and not allow him to lay one of those bricks.
Like many of my clients and other’s readings this I am an empath, this is not an excuse, but it is an added layer to the road block, it is the icing on top of the road block. We use so much of our energy, knowingly and unknowingly helping others that we have little to help ourselves. We need to learn to balance ourselves body, mind and soul before we can move forward in our lives. For an empath that can be difficult, it is a daily struggle, but it is possible. We need to allow others to walk their own paths and we need to create boundaries. This allows us to help but not over help and to have the energy to help ourselves and start “doing” in our own lives for our well-being, which funnily enough will give us more energy to help more people.
For years I’ve helped my clients shift their mind set from “trying” to “doing”. I have looked at why we “try” instead of “do” from many different perspectives. The one common theme is fear. Fear of failure, and success, and this fear is woven within self-worth and how we value ourselves. But it wasn’t until just recently that I realized that there comes a point in all of our lives where we need to hold a mirror up to ourselves and give ourselves a good talking to. You can read every self-help book out there, try different techniques, and accept yourself. But in order to achieve things in our lives we need to get up off that futon, kick it aside and start moving forward. This goes for weight, career goals, personal relationship, you name it and it is the same. As we have all heard a million times, it’s the first step that is the hardest! And it is true. We need to stop focusing on the outcome, the future, the goal. We need to stop looking at our goal as a huge mountain or staircase and just focus on the now, what the first baby step is then we can all achieve our goals!
I always tell my clients that focusing on the top stair is deflating and feels impossible to reach it. But if you focus in the stair you are on and working towards stepping up to the next step before you know it you are on your way to the top! Stop over thinking how to get to the top stair just focus on what you need to do right now. Get out of your own way, and step on that stair today! Trust me each step has its rewards and it will be the best decision you have ever made to just focus on that baby steps and do what you can do today!