Being an empath is hard, hands down to me it is one of the hardest things to be. Not only does an empath feel things 1000 times stronger than the average person but to balance an empath must go against their nature.
Here is a funny but not so funny story of being an empath. A week ago, I was in a pretty serious (see even being an empath prevents me from just admitting it was very serious) cycling accident – the how’s and why’s I will not bother you with, but I ended up over a tiny cliff, body wrapped around some tree trunks and my bike, and my face firmly planted in the ground. Ouch – right?!?!? Most non-empaths would have lied there in pain, absorbing what just happened, making sure they were ok and worrying about themselves. Call 911 – bring in the ambulance!!
But no not this empath – I scrambled to my feet, blood dripping down my face, my stomach raging in pain and my thigh muscle feeling larger and larger every second. I knew soon I would not be able to bend my leg. My concern was not for my wellbeing or even my bikes – it was for my husband. My concern was immediately ‘omg I need to be ok, act ok, say I’m ok and just brush it off until I can get home away from him and then I will take care of myself.’ You see my husband is an empath as well – and one that can’t handle when the people he loves are in pain – it’s a bit over the top to be honest, but when the kids were little he had to leave the room as the doctors gave them their needles and then his Scottish warrior side would come out and he would be angry at the doctor for inflicting the pain. I’d often hear ‘did you see how aggressive she poked our daughter’. So I knew he would not be able to deal well with me being seriously injured – and I went full empath. Pushing away my pain and suffering and focused on him.
My first goal was to stop the blood that was pouring down my face and make it seems like it was just a scratch – pulling out a Kleenex from my jacket (always a mom – you never know when someone may need a Kleenex) I held it to my head and repeat it’s fine, its fine just a scratch, as he freaked out saying I was going to need stitches. My chin and cheek were also bleeding but I just brushed it off, ‘ah just a bit of road rash, all good’. Meanwhile I’m in shock, my body shaking my stomach raging and my leg pulsing in pain. I direct him to focus and to grab my bike. The whole-time making jokes like it’s all good. He straightened up my wheels and checks over my bike while I put pressure on the slice in my forehead. Thankfully the cut stops bleeding, and it calms the situation down, everything else that hurts is hidden. Well, that was until he pulled up my shirt to look at my stomach and freaked as it was already purple, he went into lectures about internal bleeding and his Scottishness started puking out his mouth – lots of ‘god woman what did you do’! I again downplayed it – oh it’s just red and my stretch marks make it look purple – the whole time I’m screaming in my head ‘oh crap, I messed up this time, because this really freak’n hurts’. But put a smile on my face and carried on.
I get back on my bike, secure my helmet over my cut hoping it will hold the cut shut and it wont reopen it, and proceed to drive the 10 km plus home. The whole time my head was wobbly my leg was pounding, muscles getting tighter and tighter and my stomach was raging even more. But every time he would turn and ask me if I was ok, my concern was not about myself it was him, ‘yup all good, I’m fine’.
Once home, he demanded that we go to emergency – “I said I didn’t think I needed to but ok” again trying to downplay it so he would be ok, it didn’t matter if I was bleeding out internally. Thankfully I had no internal bleeding, but I did end up with a concussion, broken nose, bruising of my stomach and area and a torn thigh muscle, plus multiple other scraps and bruises. I have heard from several Doctors that I’m very lucky that I didn’t hurt myself more. And that I would have been stupid not to go to emergency. Note taken, but I’m an empath – others before us – even if it involves launching off a cliff.
Now this isn’t a story about poor me, hurting myself, this is a story about how crazy it is to be a strong empath. One that will do everything in her abilities to make someone else comfortable and not worried. Being an empath is hard, it is one of our life lessons to balance that, and one that even working on it for many years I have obviously not learned. Oh I can say ‘No’ now, but when it comes to the people I love, balance goes out the window and I become an Empath Superwoman. I’m not sure if I will ever be able to balance that part, because even in my healing journey I still find myself downplaying my symptoms to make other people not worry.
Over the years I have heard many stories of empaths sacrificing their wellbeing to protect the ones they love. I’d love to hear your empath stories and how being an empath came raging out of you even if it was not in your best interest. Sure, we empaths, put others before us often, but do you have a crazed empath moment that rises even above the norm? Share in the comments I’d love to hear your stories!!